When the Planets of Asperger’s and Bipolar Collide: The case of the two black flamingos

Much has been written about Asperger’s syndrome and bipolar disorder over the years; however, it is often from the perspective of psychologists and doctors observing people, not from the individuals experiencing these conditions themselves. I have the rare combination of bipolar disorder and Asperger’s syndrome, which is beyond the edge of what most human beings can afford or handle, and I share my personal story to help people better understand these conditions.*

Science vs. personal understanding

Science says that Asperger’s syndrome belongs to the autistic spectrum, but this is not a complete explanation. Asperger’s is a spectrum itself. But again this is not complete. Every individual with Asperger’s is a spectrum in themselves! They are a planet in themselves, and while they have relationships with the other planets, they usually have some separate, unique qualities not found in any other Aspergian.

Scientists and psychologists have their own classifications, but in my opinion, there are two main phases in the Asperger’s spectrum: the mild and the wild, or the “full-blown” as some prefer to call it. Both the mild and wild are again spectrums in themselves. (In fact, many syndromes and disorders are spectrums, including bipolar disorder.)

The mild and the wild

The majority of people with Asperger’s are in the mild phase, experiencing some or minor mental and social difficulties. A few of these individuals are boosted by other genetic factors and qualities, which results in them being geniuses—especially in the area of information technology, such as Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg. These people become world-changers.

A minority of Aspergians are in the wild phase, and they may experience severe social and mental difficulties. At this level, there are also those who are boosted by other genetic factors and qualities. They end up as geniuses who change the world, such as Albert Einstein (many psychologists believe that Einstein had Asperger’s^[i]) and Paul Dirac.

The truth is that bipolar disorder can be a friendly background for developing extraordinary talents in all areas of human activities, especially in the arts, but very few reach this point. The same with Asperger’s, where only a very small minority make it as far as Einstein. Despite this, many people with Asperger’s and bipolar disorder can reach great heights in their areas of human activity without needing to reach Einstein’s level.

My two black flamingo

As explained in my book The Temple of Consciousness, in my early life, I went decades without medication for either my bipolar disorder or Asperger’s syndrome. As a result, they were at their most aggressive, wild level. 

They were full-blown black circles, two black flamingos in the pool of my genes (I inherited bipolar from my mother, a very loving woman).

Asperger’s syndrome pushed me to the stage of feeling like an anti-human. Alcohol was my main medicine, but it was an illusion of course. As for my bipolar, I once wrote that a human being in the depression phase of bipolar is the most miserable species in the whole universe. Before I had any medicine for my bipolar disorder, I resolved to commit suicide three times. However, I escaped.

Later, by understanding my body, I found that the antidepressant medication Citalopram works perfectly and moderates the wild phase, making it mild in terms of social interactions (even though there is no official medicine for Asperger’s syndrome). It enables me to eliminate both my manic and depressive episodes of bipolar and moderate the anti-human feeling but without affecting the rare qualities of being Aspergian. I also never consume alcohol, coffee, tea, or cigarettes because I understand their detrimental effect on my conditions.

Of course, I remain cautious, lonely, and single. Everywhere I go, such as restaurants, cafes, bars—I am alone. I can cope with someone talking to me, but only for a few minutes. My enthusiasm for talking to people is zero. However, I understand my mind and body.

The key of self-awareness

If you are diagnosed with one of these disorders or any disorder, get a second opinion and even a third, as doctors sometimes label people with the wrong diagnosis. Not intentionally of course, as they are not swindlers. It is simpler; they often fail to understand the peculiarities of the individual. Always do your own research into such disorders.

You know your body and your mind best, but you also need to spend time developing knowledge of your body, your behaviour, and your mind. With this self-knowledge, you can find the medication or treatment that works best for you as an individual. Understand your body and mind, because it is the vessel that must sail you through this life.

If you’d like to hear more from my personal experience, you can read my book The Temple of Consciousness, and you may decide to write your own book to share your personal experiences.

*Note that I am not giving advice on how to cure bipolar disorder or Asperger’s syndrome. I am not authorised to give advice. I can only tell you about myself and my experience, and my point is that only you can fully understand your experience.

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[i] Robert A. Lavine Ph.D., Psychology Today, Did Einstein Show Asperger’s Traits? (2016)